How do you say "FML" in Czech?

Adjustment to life in Prague has been smooth, for the most part, with the exceptions of some turbulent bumps. I needed to register in the Foreign Police office, as I am a foreigner. In the first meeting with my new boss, she told me to go register myself and that the people in the office would speak a bit of English. I went straight from my meeting with her to the Foreign Police office. As soon as I entered I had a feeling that something was not going to go right. First of all, I had an inkling that the 65 year old, obese man behind the "Informace" (Information) desk where I got in line just might not know any English. I waited in line to speak to him, and lo and behold, English, not so much. I handed him my passport and what my boss had written in Czech to get the point across of what it was I needed. He looked at my passport, smiled, and said American, eh? I only know this because American in Czech is americky, not too hard to figure out. He then went on to make what I can only imagine to be a snide comment, snickered, and handed me the passport back. He then said a few sentences in Czech, looked at me, and figured out I had not even the slightest clue what he just said. He then directed himself to the line and asked if anyone spoke English. Fortunately, a guy in the line did speak English and told me I needed to go to another office on a different floor than this office. He then proceeded to tell me the name of the office I was to go to, to which I pleaded he write down the horrendous, 57 syllable name of whatever office he just said. At that very moment, another worker at the office happened to pass by and the guy behind the counter asked her to show me where to go.

We walked to another building very close by, and at the door she signaled where I was to go and said everything in Czech, of course. The only reason I knew where to go was because the English speaking guy said 3rd floor, and this lady pointed to the left at the end of the hall. Using these clues, I made it with no problem to the actual Foreign Police office. I went to the computer that generated tickets. It was in English and Czech! This was a good sign; I relaxed. I figured out what I needed in English and printed the ticket, which was in Czech. I waited about 15 minutes and when they called me up I showed the lady my ticket and gave her my passport. She looked at them and then said things to me in Czech. As is my usual feeble response, I shrugged my shoulders and said "English?" She gave my passport back to me and the only English she then said was "You must speak Czech." After a moment of confusion, I asked if there was someone in the office who did speak English. She shook her head and said no. I was flabbergasted. This was the Foreign Police office. Surely they deal with English speaking immigrants on a daily basis, and no one in the office speaks English???

Before arriving to the Czech Republic, if I had to guess one place in the whole country that would speak English, I would guess the Foreign Office in the capital, A.K.A. Prague. After living here for a few days, I can now tell you that your best bet for English is the bank, pharmacy, and post office. The places where I would expect some level of English, like the Foreign Police office and the ticket booth for public transportation, are a bit lacking.

Anyway, all's well that ends well. Lesson learned. I came to Prague for excitement, right? Well, excitement I got!

Arrival to Prague

I’m in Prague! It’s been a stressful journey because Prague does not feel anything like home to me. In the past when I have crossed the Atlantic it has been to go to England to visit my family or to Spain to visit my boyfriend, and in both locations I always feel very comfortable and can speak the language. However, in the Czech Republic, I know no one, do not speak the language, and, well, do I need any more reasons?? However, Prague definitely has its redeeming qualities. Firstly, my boyfriend is also moving to Prague, and he is my main motivation for moving here. Secondly, I have attained a job teaching English, which is something I have always wanted to do after graduating from college. Thirdly, I have heard nothing but wonderful things about Prague. I have talked to a handful of people who have visited, studied, or worked in Prague, and all have told me that they are just so incredibly jealous of me and will just have to come visit me while I’m there. So, I figured I can’t go wrong by moving to a city that all its visitors want to return to. According to them, and I will be confirming or rejecting this in a future entry according to my judgments, it is a beautiful, inexpensive city with incredible architecture, great nightlife, and fabulous public transportation. What can beat that? So making the decision to come here wasn’t much of a difficulty.

The major inconvenience for me in the Czech Republic is the language. I'm going to try not to be blatantly ethnocentric, but everything is in Czech! What is that about? I realize that it is the Czech Republic, and there is English occasionally on signs, like in the subway. But unless the food is an English brand, food in the supermarket is in Czech, so I spend a great deal of time eying food and reading Czech nutritional facts. So far I've learned fiber, calcium, fat, and protein. I'd translate them here but I've forgotten them already.

You knew there'd be a picture of milk in my blog. Notice there is nothing about skim, semi-skimmed, or anything. And the words in Czech on the front are not related to the fat content. I figured out that you need to look on the top of the carton for a percentage, A.K.A. fat content. Duly noted.


And here is the cereal I buy, with clear directions on the complex process of pouring cereal into a bowl, followed by the milk. The words above the picture say "Instructions for Preparation."

Oh, one more important thing to mention about the Czech Republic: the diet. As you’ll know from previous entries, it’s safe to say that I am a relatively picky eater, and do not eat meat or foods loaded with empty calories, generally. According to Lonely Planet’s guide book to Prague, the Czech diet is a “cardiologist’s nightmare.” Meat, dumplings, meat, goulash, fried cheese, wilted lettuce, with a side of meat. I have, however, read up on some vegetarian restaurants that I will be patronizing with frequency. But anyway, maybe this is a sign that I should start sharpening up my culinary skills and actually step foot into the kitchen to do something other than looking for snacks. Looks like it’s going to be a lot of boiled veggies and whole grain rice for a while.

Change of Scenery

I love the USA, I really do. I think it has a lot of great qualities, and it will always be my home first and foremost. The more I compare America and Europe, the more I think about how different they are. I am very happy in both places, but when I compare them, I start to see imperfections in America that I never noticed before. Until I studied in Spain when I was 20 years old, I thought America was perfect. I was quite happy with where my life was headed – I was an undergraduate student studying Spanish and enjoying college life. However, once I moved across the pond and started thinking beyond what new drink I would try at the bar next weekend, I realized that America has some serious flaws. For example, 45 million people are without health care because they can’t afford it. Another example – many Americans cannot afford to go to college, and thus do not attain an education level higher than high school and cannot make as much money as their more competitive peers who went to college and graduate school. These problems do not exist to nearly the same extent in Europe; there is more equality. I believe that America is oftentimes too capitalistic and inward looking, and has forgotten to care for the poor and hungry, or whatever shpeel the Statue of Liberty says. Life in the USA is not as good for many Americans as it was for me, and this bothers me. I want everyone living in America to live well, because that, to me, defines a perfect country.

So, I no longer believe America is better than any other country. It has some major flaws that could quite easily be worked out, if it weren’t for that obstacle we call politics. But don’t worry! I will still constantly be comparing America to other countries I learn about, more specifically, the Czech Republic, in the entries that follow. Why? Because I have moved to Prague! Read on for more details.

Trash Issues

Europe is great. Seriously. I love most things about it. There’s just one thing that keeps sticking out to me as slightly inconvenient: tiny trash bins. Why? Why are they so small? England, Spain, and now the Czech Republic all seem to have small trash bins in the houses. If they were bigger, it would not be necessary to empty them so often. However, they are very small, and I don’t know if this is just an optical illusion, but seem to be full a good 90% of the time, and thus need taking out way too often. Do Europeans just not mind taking out the trash? Perhaps they are just innately less lazy than Americans, who generally believe that having to take the trash out more than once or twice a week is a crime to humanity.

Trash, plastic recycling, and paper recycling in my apartment in Spain

Trash in Czech Republic apartment

That’s my rant of the week. Or, at least for the day.

Napkins: Less is Not More

Napkins in Spain are...different. In bars, at least. Bars in Spain, or at least in the southern part of the country, serve food with drinks, and thus there are always plenty of napkins around. However, they are about as useful as using a sheet of wax paper to wipe my mouth. Actually, I am convinced that they have a wax coating, because they are always so pretty and shiny. And they always thank me for patronizing their bar, how very polite.

I can see my reflection!

As there is always a huge supply of these napkins in bars, I never feel bad using many of them, as 8 of them use about as much paper as one normal napkin. Oh, and bonus! These napkins serve as toilet paper for women in bars, as there is never toilet paper in the bathrooms in bars and thus these napkins are the next best thing.

The Great English Migration

Well, I've made a fun little observation about English people. And while I can't bash them too badly, because I am 50% English, I must comment that they are a strange race. They are rather sun deprived, because England tends to be cloudy and rainy. They do have completely sunny days, but they are far and few between. As a result, many English people like to head to the beaches in Spain for a quick sun bathe. I noticed this phenomenon when I myself was making this same trip, except I started in Spain and flew to England to visit my grandmother. The route is Leeds to Málaga, and it is flown very cheaply by Ryanair, a low cost European airline. This route is flown almost entirely by English people. Thus, English people will dig out their long-lost swim suits and make a nice weekend out of the southern coast of Spain. However, they are a bit over eager and end up soaking up too much sun. It's funny how if a culture does not have enough of something, they make sure to take full advantage of it when they have the opportunity.

Too much of a good thing

This is a picture of English people waiting in line to check into their Ryanair flight back to Leeds, where they can pick their sun blisters in peace.